Mary Knows Football: Week 5
8 Nebraska at 7 Wisconsin: Wisconsin
Mmmm, the battle of the corn-fed vs. the cheese-fed. Saturday’s game marks the Big 10 conference opener for both teams, and the Cornhuskers’ inaugural game in the conference. Both teams are undefeated after four non-conference games, but the Badgers undoubtedly looked better against the cupcakes, winning by an average of 40 points and allowing less than 9 points per contest. Former NC State QB Russell Wilson is now leading the Badgers, ranking in the top 10 in the FBS in passing yards (1136, 9th), touchdowns (11, tie-8th,) and passer rating (218.4, 2nd) while only throwing one interception. On the ground, RBs Montee Ball and James White have combined for 663 yards rushing and 12 touchdowns so far. Nebraska has been less impressive, struggling to put away Fresno State until the 4th quarter and Washington until a couple of costly turnovers by the Huskies allowed Nebraska to build a large lead. The Cornhuskers’ defense is allowing 350 yards per game, including over 400 to both Fresno State and Washington. Meanwhile, sophomore QB Taylor Martinez has been inconsistent and thus far, not as good as his freshman year, rushing for 421 yards – which is good for 18th among all FBS players – and 7 touchdowns, but completing only 50% of his passes en route to only 162 passing yards per game. Look for (1) the Badgers’ big uglies to try to stop the ground game and force Martinez to throw; and (2) the Cornhuskers to give up an ungodly amount of yards to Ball, White, and Wilson (he can run, too) on the ground. Nebraska keeps this game close early before Wisconsin pulls away in the second half.
3 Alabama at 12 Floriduh: Bama
You might have seen your croc friends bragging about their new jorts on Facebook and wondered what the occasion is. Hot date with his cousin? A cow-tipping party? Nope, it’s Bama week in Jortsville and the Floriduh fans have worked themselves into a tizzy thinking THIS is the year that they beat the Crimson Tide and avenge St. Timmy’s tears.
Isn’t that cute?
Croc fans and other people that brag about graduating the third grade will be quick to tell you that QB John Brantley has completed 64 percent of his passes (throwing four touchdowns and two interceptions) and the crocs are10th in the nation in rushing (more than 250 yards per game) with the help of stalker Chris Rainey and Jeff Demps have a combined 731 rushing yards, 284 receiving yards and eight TDs. That’s nice. Alabama’s defense, meet John Brantley. John Brantley, meet the ground. With that dude taken care of, it’s up to Bama’s defense to stop the run. Alabama is only allowing a total of 184 yards per game . . . against good teams. QB AJ McCarron (who has a 66 percent completion percentage, four touchdowns and two interceptions) will manage this game effectively and let RBs Trent Richardson and Eddy Lacey (who combine for 806 rushing yards and 12 total touchdowns) win it for the Crimson Tide. Let the crocodile tears ensue.
13 Clemson at 11 VA Tech: VA Tech
Clemson is coming off two big wins over Auburn and FSWho, gaining nearly 1,100 yards in those contests. QB Tajh Boyd leads the ACC with 13 touchdowns and 1,255 yards, leading the conference in total offense. Freshman WR Sammy Watkins has caught 14 passes for 296 yards and four touchdowns the past two games. Boyd and Watkins both repeated this past week as ACC offensive back and receiver of the week. That was in Death Valley. Tigers, welcome to Lane Stadium, the place where you begin your annual choke. Bud Foster’s defense is kryptonite to most offenses, even fast-tempo ones ran by Clemson’s first year OC Chad Morris. The Hokies have been practicing defending this sort of offense for weeks, rank no lower than No. 10 nationally in sacks, rushing D, pass efficiency D, scoring D and total D. CBs Jayron Hosley and Kyle Fuller will give Watkins a baptism by fire, as VA Tech’s secondary has allowed only 2 TD passes and has picked off SEVEN. On offense, the Hokies will use speedy RB David Wilson and RB Josh Oglesby to chip away at a suspect Clemson front that’s allowing a whopping 4.8 yards per carry. Thanks for beating FSWho, Tigers. Now it’s time to wake up.
Bethune Cookman at Miami: Miami
Now get the #@&$ over it.
You call yourself a ‘Canes fan? Well, this is where you demonstrate the true meaning of the word “fanatic” (def: demonstrated by excessive unreasoning enthusiasm and often intense uncritical devotion). You heard Mr. Webster. Unreasoning. Uncritical. So stop thinking, stop criticizing, get your @$$ to Sun Life Stadium on Saturday, down some bloody marys and jello shots, do some drunken “woo hoo”ing with every first down and watch the ‘Canes beat this week’s Wildcats.